I want to run off and join a circus
That’s exactly how I felt after coming out of the Aerial Fitness trial class at Acropolates on Saturday.
We got to try hoop and silk. It was actually pretty damn fun! Hoop was painful though. More so than pole. But silk was actually quite pretty! Except when I stupidly slid my hand down the silk and got burns.
Here are some pictures from the trial class:
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I’m signing up for sure!
Oh and if I decide I don’t want to work anymore, I can run off and join a circus with my new tricks! *grin*
Ahimsa
अहिंसा Ahimsa
I have been under a lot of pressure recently, for many reasons. And I know I haven’t been the most fun person to be around. But I’m going to take a step back and rethink some things now.
I went into yoga class on Sunday very pissed off. It was definitely not the right mindset to be in just before class, but a conversation sparked that anger. When my teacher walked in, he sensed that something was up and asked me about it. I thought I was covering it up pretty well by sitting still in lotus with my eyes closed, but apparently not.
So we went into a long conversation and he introduced me to the eight limbs of yoga, as set out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. I’m not going into the theoretical here since it is quite a bit to digest. The gist of it was that before the Asanas (yoga poses), there was the Yama and Niyama that makes up the first two limbs. Which means they are kind of important right. They are sort of like the ethics and principles a yogi is encouraged to practise.
Within the Yamas, there is something called “Ahimsa”, which is translated as non-violence. It doesn’t only apply to physical violence, but also relates to kindness, compassion, etc.
Since I was feeling pissed off, my teacher decided to put me through a meditative and anger releasing practice. Apparently pent up anger is held within the hip areas, and we did a lot of hip openers, some pretty extreme. Like full splits with my entire upper body flat on the mat.
I remember being very stressed out in certain positions, and my breath because choppy. “Ahimsa”, he reminded me, “Non-violence to oneself and one’s body too.” I had to really let go of my ego of wanting to get into the full pose and back up a few notches till I could breathe properly. Then I started to slowly ease into it again. I realize it gets easier once you’ve released that expectation and the “I can’t do it” mentality.
In the middle of the class, I could feel something rising up. “Just let it go”, he told me. I swear he’s psychic, because then my tears started falling.
By the end of the class, I was crying like a baby but somehow I felt so much better. My mind was cleared and I knew what I should do.
Better than a shrink. Heh.
Fuckin’ Perfect
This is the song I chose for this term’s showcase. Since the theme is “love”, I’ve decided to go with self-love instead of the usual lovey dovey songs.
Everyone has something they feel insecure about. Everyone. Even the most confident of people. It’s how well they mask their insecurities or fear. Or what they do to try and overcome it. And that’s what we all should remember. That we are imperfectly perfect, because we are our own person and everyone is different.
Someone once told me that I’m narcissistic, egotistical and loud because I’m insecure and am trying to cover it up. She’s partly right. There are some parts of me I do not like, but that’s not why I am narcissistic, egotistical and loud. I’m like that because it is me and that’s just how I am. But this is not the main point in today’s entry.
Insecurities. Imperfections. Everyone has them. I’ve come to terms with the parts about me I do not like and am changing what I can while accepting what I can’t change. I wasn’t always like that. In fact, I used to be the quiet girl who goes home straight after school and has very little friends. I could go through an entire school day without speaking a word (y’all can gasp in disbelief now). I didn’t like that I thought and felt differently from my peers. I didn’t like that I looked different. I didn’t like what people thought about me.
Then I grew up. I figured that I should be living MY life, not what others think it should be. And I met friends who didn’t give a shit and liked me for me. People who could see past the layers and masks I put on. I slowly tore down those layers, learnt not to care about what people thought, and gained more self confidence. I think this was the beginning of my narcissism. LOL.
Then I started making mistakes and decisions that till this day I still regret some of them. I fucked up many things, including relationships with friends and family. It’s all part of growing up. And thankfully, most of them are still by my side today.
So this song serves as a reminder of who I was and who I am now. It’s also to inspire people to start loving themselves more. It’s not that hard to, really.
Quarter of a century
Month long birthday celebrations ftw!
So it began with my Stripper party at Amara Sanctuary Sentosa, where the hotel room was turned into a pretty neat strip club with help from my dearest organisers, @smithankyou (who is now engaged, congrats!) and @vixlew. I really wanted to bring my pole but the pieces got stuck and couldn’t be removed. *sadface*
Thanks all my dearies who attended my party. I had a blast and I hope you did too! The place was great, the company was awesome, and the jacuzzi was……. mmmmmm. I almost didn’t wanna checkout since the bed was so comfy.
Every weekend after was just parties after parties. I got drunk, but had lots of fun.
Partying wasn’t the only thing I was doing though. I actually did a lot of thinking too. Probably hit the quarter life crisis. Haha. I thought about where I am, what I want to do, and am I doing what I want. Both with my personal and work life. With things that are happening around me, it also made me think even more.
Sadly, I haven’t come to any conclusion yet. At this point, I think I’ll just continue living life like it is, and not worry. Yet. We’ll see how this plays out, and how different being a quarter of a century old really will be. I reckon it will be pretty damn different, but I’m also looking forward to what may come my way.
Lorem Ipsum
The meaning behind my tattoo.
The translation of the original Latin text where Lorem Ipsum is from. [taken from wikipedia]
“But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?
On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee the pain and trouble that are bound to ensue; and equal blame belongs to those who fail in their duty through weakness of will, which is the same as saying through shrinking from toil and pain. These cases are perfectly simple and easy to distinguish. In a free hour, when our power of choice is untrammelled and when nothing prevents our being able to do what we like best, every pleasure is to be welcomed and every pain avoided. But in certain circumstances and owing to the claims of duty or the obligations of business it will frequently occur that pleasures have to be repudiated and annoyances accepted. The wise man therefore always holds in these matters to this principle of selection: he rejects pleasures to secure other greater pleasures, or else he endures pains to avoid worse pains.”
A reminder. A motivation of sorts.
Pole addiction
Since yesterday was the gym’s anniversary, it also means I’ve been learning pole for a year now. I’m actually really proud of myself, that I didn’t give up although there were times I felt really shitty and also that this wasn’t one of my heat-of-the-moment addictions.
I’ve always wanted to learn dance. But I have 2 left feet. I’ve tried Street Jazz, Hip Hop, Latino… can’t coordinate at all! I either end up falling, stepping on my feet or missing steps and standing there like an idiot. The only “dance” I knew was gyrating and shaking my booty at clubs. I’m really surprised I managed to last this long (and still going on), be able to catch up (sometimes just barely) and grow a passion for pole dancing.
When I first decided to go for the class, I honestly thought it was gonna be mostly exotic dancing. Shake backside only what, how difficult can it get. I guess this is also the common misconception of pole dancing – that it is skanky and slutty, only performed in strip clubs. I was intrigued when we learnt more than just the sexy moves. There were so many other genres that can be performed on a pole! And moving on to the higher levels, trust me those moves are more acrobatic than sexy.
So after a year, what have I gained? I (hopefully) dance better, I’ve gained performance experience with showcases like the recent comp at the gym, and I’ve found a really fun way to work out! Of course, I also got an x-pole as my x’mas present last year. *grins*
Without my wonderful instructors, I don’t think I could have done any of this. So this post is dedicated to them. Especially Eunice, since most of the classes I attend are hers. Also because she’s the one who always always always includes pretty choreos in her classes, and always does different genres for her routines showing how wide ranged pole can be.
Here’s my showcase performance at the gym (a bit kan cheong so got a few boo boos).
Phuket
The girls (CJ and I) and boy (Lennel) finally made our way out of SG and to Phuket. We’ve been talking about it for years but because of all the schedule clashing, it never happened. So the bunch of us who could decided to fuck it and head down to Phuket.
I was very excited about how the hotel would turn out to be as I’ve heard nothing but good reviews. Even our cab driver told us it was a nice hotel. And it was one of the only resorts just by the beach. The room turned out so spacious and so pretty! We had a balcony where we could see the beach. There were rooms with dip pools, and I know I’m getting one of those if I go back there. This round no budget la.
The only downside to the trip were the mosquitoes. Bloody commando mosquitoes I tell you. And not shy one. 5 can attack at one go. We had to go buy repellant and me being the kiasu one held onto the bottle every day and every night, even using it as insecticide. I think I sprayed it into CJ’s face when there was a mosquito flying towards her. LOL!
I think it’s because it’s not SG and the grass is always greener the other side and what have you not, but the sky was so blue, the clouds so white, and the sea so clear! We had so much fun goofing around and jumping waves while we were there. And getting sun burnt too. It helped that our hotel was so near the beach. Very convenient.
Me being smart only put sunblock on my face. Narcissistic right, protect face first. The rest of my body I happily sprayed suntan oil. I forgot that my boobs kinda protrude out and they would be the first to get the sun, so I ended up with burnt boobs after the first day. How fun right. Hurting like crazy the next few days!
I actually had quite a fun time learning to surfboard. Of course, I didn’t manage to stand up fully on the board, but it was a pretty good first attempt! Too bad the film was ruined. There were a few attempts where I was so close to standing up!
Oh and pole dancing in Patong too! I had to la. The poles were calling out to me from afar. I could literally hear them calling out my name. I think I prolly helped pull in customers with my tricks? Tsk. Should have asked them for free drinks for helping them pull in business.
The bars had this interesting game where you hit nails into a piece of wood. The catch is that you use the small rectangular side of the hammer instead of the usual huge round side. It was actually quite hard to aim! And even harder after a few drinks. But I think we didn’t do that badly. LOL. Maybe we should “import” this idea back here. But then again, it might not happen la. Hammers and nails might not get past whatever licensing nonsense that would probably be needed.
A part of me didn’t wanna come back. Sun, sand, sea, bikini girls, cheap booze… That’s life. But the other part, the part that was getting bitten endlessly by mosquitoes, couldn’t wait to get the hell out. Seriously, the mosquitoes were everywhere. Even in the fridges. I kid you not.
Ramblings
Honestly, I have no clue what to write, but I felt like I haven’t updated my blog in ages and a post is long overdue.
So, what have I been up to the past months…
I’ve finally managed to catch up on my reading and have gone through 3 books the last month… I’m officially a Brookmyre fangirl. Ordered a ton of his books and can’t wait to get started on them.
And I think I’ve been working out too much. I have to do something if I wanna continue drinking barrels of beer right, else my beer belly would be disgustingly huge. But I guess I overdid it and fainted out of exhaustion. So embarassing! Cos I was outside Timbre and people thought I was drunk.
But it was funny cos the first thing I said when I woke up and realised I fainted was “my nose hurts. did I fall on my face? OMG I’M DISFIGURED!”
And the thought that went through my friend’s head was “Die! She fell on her face. She’s gonna kill me!”
Narcissistic eh?
But that was a real scary experience and I’m gonna be guai and cut down on my gym sked for now.
Word of the Day
Flimflam
flim·flam/ˈflimˌflam/
Verb: Swindle (someone) with a confidence game: “the tribe was flimflammed out of its land”.
Noun: Nonsensical or insincere talk.
